Well , I am still at home but yesterday was THE DAY. Yes JLa's Big Adventure. Hopefully I am far enough into the medication cycle that I write this in the usual degree of high quality blogging you are used to. See...I still have my sense of humor.
So let me recreate my big day as best I can. Interesting I can use the trail of time stamps from Twitter, Facebook and text messages to assist me. What a trail we leave....
0238 Really? The alarm is set for 0530. I am not surprised,but this is a day I have greatly anticipated so I will not worry about the time.
0315 Let the Facebooking begin. Someone I know is up for sure. I am after all a Night Shift Nurse.
0415 Wow it is still a while until the alarm.
0545 Time to hit the shower and get dressed.
0645 The BabyDaddy has taken me to Bill Miller Barbeque. Seems we must feed the youngest whom I will call "Young Buck". This damn drive-through is not particularly thrilling if you are currently under an NPO status (nothing by mouth for you non-nurses).
0725 After dropping off Young Buck two hours early for his college summer class ,we arrive at the surgery center. I am beginning to get nervous about being late for my 0730 arrival ,I absolutely HATE to be late you see.
0728 So we park and I hobble with my fifth and sixth extremities to sub-level 100. Thank God I am not late. I really am weird about that and as you may already know,so many things.I sign the clipboard and sit down.
0815 Still sitting. Seems there are a number of us here for maintenance.
0825 Very nice lady has me check my name and date of birth many,many times. The pop quiz begins with what are you here for?Which side? Which surgeon? Initial your answers. Really. Do I look like I just wandered in here for fun?
0830 Follow me to that door, I am taking you back....I Love Her. The words I have waited to hear.
0845 Now the new occupant of Pre-op Bed 7 begins the final checklist. After donning the obligate gown and ugly socks , I enjoy the warm blanket. How many of those have I given out myself? Countless, and it really is quite pleasant. Nurse #1 begins the pop quiz about medical problems, medications, when did I drink,when did I eat, allergies and the like. Have I gotten an EKG prior to coming today? NOT RECENTLY.
0858 or so... I have an EKG. My new friend Nurse # 1 prints it,tears it off and says "wow,yours is better than mine.. it says bradycardia with a rate of 52". Without thinking I immediately answer ,"yeah, I worked hard for that $h..." she laughs and I apologize. You see you can take the nurse out of the ER, but you cannot take the ER out of the nurse. Luckily all nurses realize this. The Bone Man arrives with his own pop quiz,
feels up my knee and leaves promising he will see me again soon. Next arrives a boy who identifies himself as Dr.. let us call him Dr. Resident Whoever. He too has questions. Like" what did you do to your knee"? I laugh inappropriately . How much time do you and more importantly I have,boy? ( No, I did not say it out loud).
0900 Nurse#2 has arrived with my next new best friend , Dr. Anesthesia. The questions from 0845 begin again. The answers written by Nurse #1 are the same as these... I discuss my less than thrilled opinion of intubation which it seems she shares for herself as well. She says we could use instead an LMA. I now LOVE HER TOO. During the the pop quiz one of my answers caused Dr.A to ask for an accucheck. I warned them that while I required no meds anymore due to my long history of positive actions and good choices, it very well might be up as the previous day I had experienced a brief episode of What the Hell.... which to me the big confession was a big piece of French bread with dinner and two sugar cookies. But it felt good getting that off my chest, LOL.
0910 They hand Dr.A a post it note, she looks at me and says "some binge...97 ? You are legit,huh?" (normal to those of you that do not habla accuchecks). Ancef IV is started after Reglan and Pepcid and Versed IV are pushed. Then they say, "Oh wait ,just a few more questions and where is your family?" I say hurry with the questions, LOL.... I did manage to answer,maybe a little slower than usual. And the BabyDaddy arrives for a farewell kiss. At least I think that was him. Things were getting a little fuzzy by then.
0915 I arrive in the OR. I am feeling pretty relaxed after my Vitamin V by now,but wish I had worn my sunglasses. My new girlfriend Dr.A greets me with a "hello again and breath deeply from this mask". And warns me it is going to smell bad soon, but keep breathing deep. I reply in J La fashion " Sure, but there are so many damn lights on in this room I am never gonna..."
1024 I open my eyes to the music of "Anthony's Song" by Billy Joel playing. Not a special song to me particularly, but some of you that know me will understand the significance. Nurse #3 notes I am looking around and greets me. I reposition a bit ( why does it always feel like you are coming off the bed?) and must have made a face. She then asks if I am having pain, I reply " I guess so". She then returns with a syringe to fix that. Yeah, yeah nurses, she questioned me about the pain scale.Ok... well then ... Nurse#3 Way to Represent for the profession. MUCH BETTER.
1040 After spending these past 15 minutes monitoring my vital signs and EKG from my Dash 3000 over my head,it is determined that I may be graduated to the recliner zone. Nurse #3 agrees. The BabyDaddy returns at this point to give me his medical assessment of the Bone Man's post game review that included many pictures .His non-professional assessment: "Man, your tore the $#&# out of it". Thank You, Criminal Justice Major. And I then receive the bag containing my clothes. That is always a good sign. We are visited by a rep from the fine people that make Cryo-cuffs or whatever it is called now. Funny no one wants MY signature on anything .
1105 As you see very happy to be going home. They say I may not attend the gym today, I expected as much....but all in all , I think it went quite well :)
Today there are two words:
1. Versed : ( Midazolam for you non-pros) a benzodiazepine that affects the central nervous system as a depressant. It is an amnesiac that will cause the patient to not remember painful or unpleasant experiences. And to make them stop complaining about bright lights.
2. LMA :a laryngeal mask with a tube and inflatable cuff that is inserted into the pharynx. Used for airway management and anesthesia. In J La's opinion completely superior to an endotracheal tube- look that one up yourself if you are that curious.
Stay tuned readers for Phase Two :the Recovery. AKA The Side Trip off the road of the JOURNEY.
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